Wrecking Ball
by Tono Radish
Summary: He came in like a wrecking ball. Matthew is just some kid taking a calculus class like a boss who might just find himself becoming a teacher's pet and falling in love with said teach. (Slight crack)
1. Wrecking Ball

Matthew's world is very Matthew, in other words is a quiet life. He's very nice and easy on the eyes but facts are facts, he's quiet and that quietness has left him to be rather invisible. His best friend by association is Alfred, who is so loud when he talks to the invisible Matthew people have to wonder if he's a skitzo. Yes Matthew was considered the throw away plastic wrap around a totally boss sandwich with like meat and cheese and lettuce and some shit like that. It sounds awful but it was a very content life for Matthew, people didn't notice him and, through watching Alfred, he finds himself being lucky in the sense that he can successfully evade the watchful eyes of the pubescent and vengeful student body. Yes, maybe a quiet life is exactly what Matthew was meant to have. But here's the thing about high school and the world in general, once you get used to something a dramatic change takes everything and fucks it up like that guy on YouTube who always asks you "will it blend?" He came in like a wrecking ball. He was the white haired time bomb and red eyed over lord of Matthew's math class. He was himself and, though his appearance was rather shocking and lead many to avoid him at first, he had this air of confidence that ultimately drew the children to him and Matthew was no different. He was chill, he had what was called "the swag," and he was the new Calculus teacher who appeared out of no where with a younger brother in tow. This man was fresh out of college and Matthew, along with the rest of his class, was the blessed Guinea Pig of his future teaching career. And it was walking into school one morning, exactly one month after Mr. Beilschmidt's first appearance, that Matthew had managed to be knocked over by the teacher of his dreams as well as be covered by the afternoon's pop quiz. 


	2. Give Me Love

"My glasses, where are my glasses!?"

Matthew tapped around, what did he hit just then? Strange, that's usually what others asked when they hit him. Suddenly he felt his glasses slide back onto his face all on their own. MAGIC!?

"Hey kid, watch where you're going."

Matthew looked and kneeling down before him was Mr. Beilschmidt. He was picking up the papers he dropped after ramming into Matthew, not so much in a way he wanted lol.

"O-Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, lemme help you pick them up!"

Matthew motioned to grab some of the papers when Gilbert shoved him back, "Hey! No peaking!"

"W-what is it?"

Matthew saw a few strange equations but didn't get enough of a look to fully register it in his mind.

"It's porn kid."

Matthew freaked out and turned to stone. The german man quickly got up and scampered away. Matthew came back to his senses and immediately threw up rainbows. He just got into a physical collision with the new sexy man smex teacher Gilbert Beilschmidt. He'll have to remember to write about this in his dream journal. Once he was done chucking rainbows a few butterflies escaped his lips.

"Did we just… Haha, nah that sort of thing only happens in anime and weird dramas."

Now that Matthew thought about it Gilbert didn't smell like flowers and chocolate like Matthew thought he would. Instead he smelled like cigarettes with an undertone of beer, though it was obvious he wasn't a chain smoker or a drunk.

Yes today was just an ordinary day for Matthew… until he got to freaking Calculus. He sat very normally in his chair, like whatever yo. No one was going to notice him, no one was going to single him out, he was just going to sit there, pay attention, and hopefully pass. That's a lie, he'll probably cheat off the Japanese kid next to him, not like he'd get caught. Matthew didn't like cheating, but this is Calculus.

"YO KIDS," sang the teacher happily, "POP QUIZ Y'ALL!"

They wanted to cry, Gilbert was a great, ahem, awesome teacher, but holy hell this is Calculus. The word itself sent humans running as if the one who spoke it had the plague. Then Matthew thought about it, so his teacher called the pop quiz porn to keep him from really looking at it.

"You, sheep dog."

Everyone looked around, but there was no one called sheep dog… well no shit there wasn't. Then Mr. Beilschmidt tried again, "Boy with two left feet, you in the back. Ghost boy!"

Matthew realized quickly that he was the one his teacher was referring to. IF ONLY MATTHEW HAD TIME!? APPARENTLY HIS HAR LOOKS LIKE A SHEEP DOG!? Matthew wished he was a girl and could just pull the sexual assault card to keep from having to stand up and be singled out by the beautiful teacher.

"Since you caught a sneaky peaky at today's pop quiz, I'll be making one up for you now. Please approach the board," he said with a mischievous wink.

Using the term "sneaking peaky" made him sound like a pedophile but even so you could hear some girls scream with delight. Matthew was ashamed to admit he was one of them… He got up mindlessly and robotically walked up to the front, suddenly turning to stone as he realized all eyes were on him. Mr. Beilschmidt passed out the pop quizzes and then looked to the chalkboard. He closed his eyes and thought for a minute, humming quietly so only someone standing close to him (like Matthew god bless him). The hum suddenly stopped halfway and he reached for some chalk and started to write some strange lines and letters… this was what they called… AN EQUATION!?

"Okay kid, while they take the original quiz, you solve this."

**Sorry, have to stop here for now. Don't worry it will get more interesting, I just have other random stories I wanna start. This probably won't be very long so yeah. PEACE**


	3. Just Give Me A Reason

**I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL! I NEVER HIT SO HARD IN CRACK! SO MUCH CRACK FIC IT BREAKS THE 4****TH**** WALL! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BUST YOUR BALLS! ALL YOU EVER DID WAS BUST MINE!? YEAH YOU, YOU BUST MINE! You know with all those "they gone kiss, they gone kiss, they gone kiss" *table flip * "WHY DON'T THEY KISS!?"**

Matthew was walking to Mr. Beilschmidt's room.

_Matthew was standing at the board looking at the equation, wishing he knew how to solve this equation and impress his divine savior, who wasn't Kira but was up on the same level. The teacher smiled, tapping his foot. His eyes were closed, almost as if he were one of those characters that had their eyes closed most of the time but when they opened their eyes they would unleash a secret technique passed down through the Armstrong family- wait… wrong fandom._

"_I'm waiting," sang the teacher._

_Matthew stared at the man. He looked so happy but Matthew could tell he wasn't happy. It was as if a giant spirit eagle was waiting behind him, ready to swoop down and carry Matthew away to be devoured if he didn't get this right… woah wait! Mr. Beilschmidt wanted to carry Matthew away!? That's the same as wanting to run away together. Yes, Matthew is young and inexperienced but he will go with it. Yes! Take him away Teacher! Send him off to the darkest corner of the universe and smother and ravish him… then give him an A. Woah, okay, Matthew had to snap out of it and get to the problem at hand. 1) He has an impossible equation in front of him. 2) He has his illegal crush watching him fail miserably. 3) THE WHOLE CLASS WAS WATCHING HIM FAIL MISERABLY!_

Matthew stood outside of the classroom, afraid to go inside.

"_Well it looks like you can't solve it. So you can just come see me after school, kk?"_

Matthew froze, he felt like a creeper waiting to intrude on his beloved in his sleep. Was that really so bad? Haha, nope Yolo. If anything Gilbert would go to jail, Matthew would get what he wanted, and then be on his merry way. Never again would he allow someone to see him or bother him or come crashing into his life sending everything up in flames turning him to stone in petrified fear. Matthew had walls around him, 50 meters high, to protect him. He didn't want to see what was outside. He just wanted to hide and be himself, away from the watchful eyes of the universe.

"H-hello?"

Matthew peaked in the door but obviously wasn't heard. What he saw next turned his face bright red and made him want to put lit matches into his eye sockets. Mr. Beilschmidt was hunched over his desk making the most obvious noises. Against his better judgment Matthew robotically walked over. There was no way he's seeing hat he thinks he's seeing. The man looked up, piercing red eyes meeting Matthew's.

"Sup kid, just give me a sec to finish up."

Matthew's nose started bleeding and he fell over.

"OH KID!?"

Gilbert stood up to check if Matthew was okay. He ran over to the other side and held the boy in his arms, "Don't die!"

Matthew contemplated not ever moving and enjoying his teacher's hold on him, his desperate calls. Yes, Matthew could just die here. Then Matthew tempted fate. He moved his hand to touch his teacher's bicep. SUCH MUSCLE!? OH BABY!? THESE ARE THE ARMS OF A MAN! YES! Gilbert sighed with relief; it looked like the kid wasn't dead. Gilbert dropped the boy and stood up dusting himself off and examining what was on his desk.

"Figures, I finally manage to solve this and you get blood all over it. What will I tell Ludwig now? There's no way I can manage this a second time…"

Matthew wiped his nose off with his handkerchief, "W-what is that?"

His mind went back to Gilbert's very seeming sexual actions.

"What? Oh this is just a math equation my bro needed help on."

"Y-your brother? That's right, your brother is a freshman in college right?"

"Yeah, he's taking super calculus for super nerds and like a billion other math courses and things like that."

"Oh," Matthew looked at the blood stained homework, "WAIT A MINUTE THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU TRIED TO HAVE ME SOLVE IN CLASS!?"

Matthew was _pissed!_ Lol, no but seriously. Even a teacher couldn't figure it out why did he have Matthew try.

"I thought youth would outweigh experience in this situation."

"Well you knew I couldn't solve it so why did you ask me to meet you here-" Matthew shut up. He looked to the yaoi gods smiling down on them, "God bless you!"

"What?"

Matthew turned back to his confused teacher: a misunderstanding.

"I know you've got this invisible thing down pretty well and for a while even I didn't notice."

Matthew froze, was his obsession with the new teacher _that _obvious!?

"But my eyes aren't that old, I'm still sharp kid. And I don't condone cheating in my class or any class or any situation for that matter."

Matthew clamed down, oh, so he cans still keep his fantasies to himself. As much as he wouldn't mind just dropping everything and running off with the fantastic specimen standing before him, even Matthew would have to admit that would be moving little too fast.

"Kid, you seem awfully calm for someone who's been caught cheating?"

Oh yeah.

"So I considered just failing you altogether but then I thought that would be harsh. So then when you hit me in the hallway earlier I thought, 'that's how I'll test him!' But you couldn't solve the equation. Anyway I called you here because YOU NEED TO MAKE UP ALL OF THE MATERIAL YOU FAILED TO LEARN."

"WHAT!?"

"FROM NOW ON YOU'LL BE SITTING BY MY DESK IN CLASS AWAY FROM KIKU AND ANY OTHER LIFE RAFT FLOATING AROUND! YOU'LL MEET WITH ME EVERYDAY UNTIL YOU CATCH UP WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS!"

Matthew was about to object but… hello? Alone with Gilbert everyday after school? Even if it is for crummy math Matthew had no complaints.

"You're right," he lied, "I've seen the error of my ways! I will gladly accept your challenge and will readily learn!"

Gilbert clapped, "Great, you're more willing than the other kid. Let's start."

"Yes sir!"

Gilbert took his seat, "but first run down to the convenience store and pick me up a pack of Newport cigs, yeah?"

Since when was the price of tutoring becoming an errand boy for a teacher fresh out of college?

**Yay! I updated quickly because I had writers block for a different story! Go me! Hope you're enjoying it!**


	4. Heartbreak Warfare

**Lol I didn't think anyone would actually like this? It just goes to show you can't judge an idea by the wacky content. I'm glad you guys like this! I'll ty to give it more attention. Totally go check out my other fic Hug Therapy, it's my pride and joy right now lol. Thanks again!**

I had to suppress my emotions. I'm in the middle of class, any sudden action now would send the both of us down a spiral of scolding at gossiping. Why do I even want to do this? I built my walls to keep others out, I shouldn't be trying to escape them by my own accord, much less allow someone else in. Other people are dangerous… so dangerous… yeah let's get into trouble you bad boy. Aww yeah- awww no. Stop it Matthew. Stop it. But I can't help it, he's so beautiful. I know if I reach out to touch him I'll just get electrocuted. So beautiful, like a jellyfish! Rule of thumb for jellyfish and hot tecahers: Look But Don't touch. I guess that also applies to romance female anime protagonists. Maybe this was a sign? Maybe someone as crazy as me needed some shock therapy. No, it wasn't my fault! Here I am trying to do some my homework in class and Teach is right next to me taking off his blazer. Yes it's a little warm in here but what makes you think exposing your body like that will cool me down any more!? And his heavenly man sent is clouding the room. Okay, okay, if I softly inhale this won't be so bad. Softly inhale… I started coughing, I wasn't exactly accustomed to the smell of cigarettes yet.

"Hey Matthew," said smoking (both literally and that other way that meant he was easy on the eyes) teacher.

"Uh, yeah?"

"You wanna do me a favor?"

This became a pattern.

"Hey Matthew?"

"Uh-huh?"

"You wanna do me a favor?"

Everyday.

"Hey Matthew?"

Without Fail.

"Yes Mr. Beilschmidt?"

Always in class.

"You wanna do me a favor?"

He always had me run some errand for him. And Everyday, I would readily agree to it. At first it was annoying, and then I liked it because I felt like I was of use to him or that he needed me, and then I began to realize he was making fun of me, and then I was feeling used, and then I was feeling sad, and then my sadness turned into passive aggressive anger.

And then the next day came. I had always been invisible but thanks to Mr. Bullshit, I've become the center of attention.

"Look, it's the class pet."

"What do you think is going on?"

"Duh, everyone knows Matt's a total homo."

"Faggot."

"Candy Ass."

"Mutant and proud."

"What was that last one?"

"We're trying to be menacing bodiless voices that haunt our some-what gold hearted with vaguely pure intentioned protagonist."

"Oh, then he's a fruit."

"Good one."

Class started and when Gilbert finished teaching, everyone got to work on the homework all but Matthew. He sat and waited. And then it came, right on cue.

"Hey Matthew?"

Right on time.

"Yes?"

Everyday.

"You wanna do me a favor?"

Without fail.

"What a loyal dog," said some kid in the background.

And I always said yes.

"No I don't."

The whole class went into shock, I think I went into shock too. What did I say? Did I just say NO? NO!? Oh I was going to be murdered, I'd better conceive.

"Did you just say no?"

I should give in and apologize. That would be the wisest course of action.

"You got a problem with that?"

What's wrong with me today!? Maybe it was the excess commentary from the peanut gallery shoving me into the wrong direction. Maybe it was the fact that my feelings and hormones were being used against me. Maybe it was all of it. Maybe for once I was gonna stand up! … and then sit back down because this is shooting my nerves to hell.

The teacher didn't respond. Some kid just called out.

"What's up with Matt? The loyal dog being let of the leash?"

And then Gilbert Beilschmidt, the twenty something year old albino god, made a face. And then he chuckled, "He's not a dog."

I felt my face heat up. I felt stupid now, it was all in my head. Gilbert was never being mean or exploiting me. He was showing he cared by paying attention to me, trying to build up my confidence by giving me random things to do. Not only that but he was building a partnership between us, a sacred bond of friendship that-

"He's more like a helpless Birdie," he finished.

I glared at him as they all laughed, "I'll peck your eyes out."

That sounded so much better in my head. Maybe I should just open my skull and let the pigeons pick at my brains, obviously I wasn't using them. You know… why do I even like this guy? Sure he's a total babe and on the smarter side but he's pretty arrogant and acts like a jerk. Actually a lot of the time he's more like a gorilla than a person. Yeah, why do I put up with this meany mc meany face? He's just a teacher to me, and that makes him nothing.

"Oh don't be like that birdie, we were only kidding," he laughed.

WILL POWER MATTHEW! WILL POWER! YES HE MAKES THE SUN RISE WHEN HE SMILES LIKE THAT BUT THE SUN IS JUST LIKE A JELLYFISH AND THE TEACHER: LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH! HELL, DON'T EVEN LOOK! OH IM GOING BLIND!

"Quit smiling like that!"

Oh shit, I said that out loud. I SAID THAT OUT LOUD! Go me, I grew some pokeballs… Who am I kidding I'm screwed!? If he didn't hate me before he hates me now! Oh! This is good! If I can covert my passionate romantic devoted affections into seething discernable unjustified hatred then I could be saved from the fluttering butterflies residing in my beating heart!

The bell went off and everyone immediately forgot about me and the teacher. I silently picked up my things and tried not to stare at the beautiful arms of the man I have to figure out how to hate more than I already do… that was easy! And then I remembered… I have to go see him after school.

And now it's after school… why is when I liked him the school day would never end but now that I don't wanna see him I'm standing outside of his classroom. I could just not go inside? But my grade needs the physical act of me dragging my corpse into the room. Whatever, don't be a baby about it and neither will he.

"Sup Birdie."

HAS HE NO SHAME!?

"Take a seat, I'm just gonna finish grading these papers."

I was quiet as I walked to my desk.

"Oh, real quick, before you sit down."

I looked up, what was it now?

"You wanna run to the nearest convenience store and get me a pack of fags?"

I swear I could rip his arms out of their sockets, "excuse me?"

He grinned a little bit, "Nothing, nothing. I didn't gay anything. Sorry, meant say."

"Is this supposed to be funny?"

"Yeah a little bit," he admitted, "really I'm flattered-"

He shut up. The whole room was quiet. The next thing we both knew I was standing in front of him with my hand adjacent to his face. I just slapped him. When he got over the initial shock of being struck he looked at my face all mad and then he stopped. I didn't notice it myself until I felt the tears dripping off my face. What a creep. What a piece of scum. He's lower than scum. He's Gilbert Beilschmidt. I bit down on my quivering lip. What a jerk. I walked over to my bag and left the room.

Can we change the title of this story to "When I Was Your Man" and put it in his point of view? I know the answer to that, it's no because if anything he's planning to expel me somehow… I'm done.

I went home and made some pancakes and cried to myself and watched 500 Days of Summer, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Annie Hall, Bridget Jones' Diary, and Something's Gotta Give (the crying scene basically and nothing after that). Needless to say I didn't do my homework and I didn't sleep… Someone hold me.

**Loooolllllll Sorry, Matt is just too I don't even know what for his own good. He's just… so relatable in that last paragraph… To me anyway, I don't think you guys are as pathetic as me. XD Review if you want me to update because with this story I can literally type a new chapter everyday with the proper motivation… just putting it out there.**


	5. Ho Hey

**Lol I'm gonna try and update everyday this week, see if I actually could update this daily. It's a trial people, don't expect too much from me, I still need dat motivational reviewing! XD**

Wow, I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. Today is Saturday, I realized shortly after that that anything worth happening or life changing always happens on a Friday. That's not good, when it's good. That means you have to wait for Monday to make your dreams come true… of course when bad things happen you get the weekend to think things over and that's great…. Unless you don't wanna think about it like me. Oh man I'm such a fool… maybe today would be a good day to visit IHOP and sulk over the all I can engulf special for stacks. Who am I kidding, it's always a good day for that.

I left my house and sprinted up three blocks of street to the place where I can forget all of my troubles: IHOP. I did a happy dance instantly forgetting all the bad stuff. Go me! Self high five! I walked inside and was set up at a table.

"Hey Mattie, baby, you meeting anyone today?"

"Oh Katyusha, you know I find it hard enough to leave the house much less go on a date."

"Well then I'll just get you set up with unlimited stacks," said the stacked waitress.

She was commonly known as Ivan's beautiful busty big sister, but she's too female for my tastes. She was my first kiss, at a party last year, and let's face it… it was probably around then I realized I was gay. Nothing was wrong with her and if I couldn't be attracted to that well then… there's only one other option isn't there. Anyway that little back story was just me giving you a little hint to our relationship. Neither of us were very social, me because I'm antisocial, and her because she "knows the boys are only after one thing… whatever that is but I know it's bad." I laughed a little to myself.

When I had finally gorged myself full of buttermilk goodness I tried to stand up- nope, stomach won't let me. I decided to just sit for a minute, enjoying the world's best and cheapest glass of iced coffee. You know I was really feeling food- I mean good. Who can feel bad when their colon is failing them? I looked outside, hmmm, looks like it might rain… IS THAT WHO IT LOOKS LIKE!?

He turned to look into the window exhaling his smoke, shit. SINCE WHEN DID TECAHERS LEAVE SCHOOL!? He scowled and took one long puff before stomping out his cigarette and walking to the door. Jupiter protect me! He sat down across from me and exhaled regular air which still smelled like Tabaco.

Maybe after this I'll get some ice cream and cry a little bit.

"Yo kid," he scoffed, "come with me."

"Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to buy me dinner first."

He glared at me, with the world's most disgusted frown on his face. He then got up, turned away, and headed for the door. It was then I quickly took in his stylish non-school attire. He could be a pop star, he was so phi!

"_I'm flattered-"_

NO WAY WOULD I FALL FOR A JERK LIKE HIM!? Oh shit he's coming back. I waved my hand looking for Katyusha for my check so I could GTFO. He smacked my hand down and threw a paper at me, "Paid. Let's go."

Paid? What am I so kind of cheap whore? He grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. I'm being kidnapped by some guy who thinks I'm a weakling. I could scream, I could yell rape or help I'm being kidnapped. That's a good plan! I inhaled and just started coughing, did he seriously light another cigarette!? That gunk is gonna kill him. He let go of me and turned around, looking like he was going to yell at me.

"I'M SORRY!"

"I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T HURT ME," I yelled out randomly.

"_YOU'RE _SORRY!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SORRY FOR!?"

"I DON'T KNOW- wait did you just apologize."

"WHAT!? No…"

"YES YOU DID!?" I yelled.

"SHUT UP! So what if I did? Look, I get it okay. It wasn't cool for me to exploit you like that… okay it was… less than awesome. I uhh shit…"

He inhaled from his cigarette and puffed out, "Oh sorry, you want one? How old are you anyway?"

I stared at him, was he serious, "You know you were acting like an ass."

"Yeah yeah, so what? I'm just a high school teacher, you can't expect me to be nice all the time."

"You're being nice?"

He spit out his cigarette, "how old are you kid?"

"Uhh sixteen?"

"And you're in my class?"

"Sure, I took some online math courses with a friend so we wouldn't have to do it in school. Math sucks."

"… I make a living from math, brat."

"Don't call me a brat, how old are you anyway?"

"Twenty Seven, yeah yeah, I'm old."

Wait what was he saying!? Buying me food, asking my age, was this…

"Hey don't get the wrong idea, I don't go for brats like you."

I stared at him, "What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying, ahem, that maybe… in a couple of years, when you're less bratty… and legal, I could consider- that is, ahem, until then this is all strictly platonic."

Oh my god, was he implying what I thought he was?

I smirked like a brat, "Yeah? What makes you think I'd be into you in a couple of years?"

"What?"

Awww yeah, who holds the cards now mutha fugga!? TAKE THAT LIFE! It looks like something was actually working out for me. I should go watch "Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging" to make sure I don't screw this up. Win! Today's a win.

**Uhhhh hey there!**


	6. Love Fool

**Another day another challenge. Here's the new update lol Are you enjoying this at all… whoever you are? XD**

I started walking, the beat behind me signaling the start of a musical montage. I stopped and posed like a back street boy.

"What I want you've got

And it might be hard to handle…"

Other people joined in as the continued on to pat me on the back and exchange extremely gangster secret hand shakes.

"Like the flame that burns the candle

The candle feeds the flame, yeah, yeah

What I've got's full stock

Of thoughts and dreams that scatter…"

Then we all lined up and continued on to perform a dance routine none of us had rehearsed but somehow we all knew. I looked at myself in the mirror, saw Han Solo, was in a great mood.

"Then you pull them all together

And how I can't explain

Oh, yeah

Well, well you

(Ooh-ho, hoo-ooh, ooh-oo)

You make my dreams come true!"

Yes, I did just rip of the getting laid scene from 500 Days of Summer, because it's the only moment in the history of the universe that could vaguely show just how happy I am. No, I didn't get laid, I got better. I WON HIS VAGUE AFFECTIONS!

"_You like me?"_

"_What? No, I told you I don't go for brats like you."_

"_Yeah, but you said when I grew up a little bit and was less bratty…"_

"_Well you have a lot of growing up to do, so- shit, I should have kept my mouth shut."_

_He spit out his cigarette and lit another one, "Sixteen…"_

_He groaned to himself, "I'm not going to promise anything, considering our positions, but you're pretty cute, even if you are a brat."_

I grinned to myself at what came next.

"_That's great and all Billshit, but who says I'm gonna like you in a few years?"_

_He was annoyed at the nickname. I grinned, finally I was in control._

"_Well then, I won't have anything to worry about. How I managed to even consider this is beyond me."_

"_So… can I have an A?"_

"_When you get some self respect," he scoffed._

Hey it was worth a shot. I know, this isn't much to go on. But still I'm feeling pretty good. You know why? BECAUSE HOMECOMING IS ON IT'S WAY!Homecoming, as in a dance! A girl and a teacher dancing causes a lawsuit but a boy and a teacher dancing gets street cred. I am going to get all up in that booya! Okay… so it probably wouldn't go like that, the likelihood of him even going was slim, he's a grown man, twenty seven, there's just no way he'd be able to go.

"Okay kids," he said finishing up the lesson, "as you know homecoming is this weekend so I expect you all to be on your best behavior, because if you're not… I'll rip your heads off!"

"Uhhh Mr. Beilschmidt, don't you have anything better to do on Saturday night?" asked the Romanian kid.

He growled at the boy, "You have a problem?"

Suddenly the door swung open, "Did I hear you mention dancing!?"

We all looked to the door, to see the French teacher Mr. Bonnefoy.

"Oh, sup Francis."

He grinned, "I too shall watch over the dance and keep the springs of youth at bay."

The whole class died slowly, this teacher was creepy. He's famous for shacking up with students who graduate. He's also my uncle. No one knows though, for good reason. Don't question the logic, we are at a public school. He was all fine and dandy but he really did lay on the molester act a little thick. Speaking of…. He was stroking the (probably) soft white hair of my teacher. Francis, I'll rip your hand off and shave your chin if you keep it up.

"Haha, he's the jealous type," laughed Francis.

WAS HE TALKING ABOUT ME!? There wasn't enough time, the bell went off and everyone made a break for it. I was a little on the slow side, mostly to watch over the precious.

"Let's skip the dance mon ami, let's get crazy. I'll call up Antonio and we can run with scissors," said my uncle.

"Francis don't you have a class to teach," I growled.

"Haha! He is," he laughed at me as he glomped Gilbert, "Yes but it's French 4, I have some time to fool around."

NOT WITH MY MAN. I huffed and walked out of the room. My uncle is really a total jerk.

**Short chapter! Sorry, I'll have something interesting next time, tomorrow, just I have stuff to do at the moment. Love ya! Review!**


	7. Team

**TWICE IN ONE DAY!? WHAT!? Guys I'm getting good at this, this is a one time only event yo! Lol**

Oh what a night. What a night! Just kidding, it wasn't night yet, but it was Friday. The big football game was happening… I think? I cheered for Alfred, since he was some vague part of the team but not a water boy and only spends half the time on the bench. At least that's why I came here? The sun was setting and all that happened was instead of me facing my fears, going into the public, and cheering while making new friends I only ended up being pushed around because I was so invisible. On top of that I only ended up having people sweat on me and throw junk at me thinking I was just a space… is that gum!? Did someone really just stick gum in my hair!?

"Sack! Sack! SACK! THAT'S MY NUTS IN YOUR FACE!"

Who was that? How was he louder than everyone else here?

"Knock him down… Knock him down… Knock him down… NOW STEP ON HIS HEAD!"

I turned around to see Gilbert Beilschmidt screaming his brains out the most insane profanities. He looks good all bundled up, I wonder if he would be nice and let me bundle up with him? Yeah~ #Blanketlife. I decided I would swagger over their, change my fate.

"WHY DO YOU HATE US," he called out to someone across the field flipping him off.

"Oh, hey Birdie, come over here and help me put this guy to shame."

"I told you I don't like being called that."

"Look at this punk. So not awesome- OH WHAT!? YO REF! GET ON YOUR KNEES, YOU'RE BLOWING THE GAME!"

The ref spit his drink and the guy across the field did a happy dance.

"Yo, teach I-"

"Here kid have a swig."

"What is this?"

"Liquid confidence."

Don't tell me he was drunk already?

"Yo, Gilbert? I'm sixteen?"

He laughed, "Kesesesese that an invite?"

"I said sixteen. Dude, maybe you should lay off?"

"Come on, people always drink at football games."

"This one is run by the school, you'll be fired."

He scoffed, "I didn't even want to be a teacher."

"I know," I sighed.

"I wanted to build rockets," he got up in my face and then his head rested on my shoulder, "you're warm."

I froze. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG, hold your breath Matthew or you might scream in sheer fan girl who is a boy delight. He just started grinning and laughing that strange laugh.

"Saw that one in a movie, kesesese," he then proceeded to fall over face first into the crowds below him. It wasn't as bad as it sounded, they ended up treating him like a crowd surfer and he made his way back and forth all through the bleachers by way of "the wave."

I didn't get to really hang out with him like I thought I would… but… I pulled out my phone from my sleeve and watched the video I took of our exchange as well as film him crowd surfing. I'll make up for lost time when I'm doing the Charleston to get his sexual attentions like a puffed out pimp daddy turkey!

**I know, it's short, but this is a same day update. Lol please review!**


	8. Dark Horse

**Week is almost up! Dude this is a challenge…**

I slapped him, I did it again. I stared at him and didn't flinch. The moment my hand hit his face I realized just how physically attractive he it!? Hot damn son!

"Better? So are we friends now?"

Suddenly I was in my room. Oh, I was sleeping. My alarm was going off "EAT SOME PANCAKES PANCAKES ARE GOOD FOR YOU PANCKES MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL WAFFLES ARE THE DEVIL'S FOOD WE GOT PANCAKES WE GOT SYRUP WE GOT PEOPLE TO POUR THE SYRUP ON YOUR PANCAKES FOR YOU EAT SOME PANCAKES TODAY!" It's Saturday then… tonight would be the homecoming dance. Usually I would skip under the excuse of "I don't have a date" or "I hate the crowds," but this time I _do _have a date and I doubt we'll be in the crowds very long! YEAHHHHH!

I jumped out of bed and some birds flew in through the window and the sun was shining and singing along with us as I took a shower and cleaned my room. It was a lovely day!

Then I opened my eyes again… I was in bed… I had fallen back asleep. Okay, I should be awake this time. Some rocks were hitting my window. I groggily sat up and looked out the window, wrapping myself like a burrito in my blanket. It was raining, it was Saturday, tonight would be ye old homecoming dance, but you knew that already. Alfred was chucking clods up at my window, so I picked up my phone and texted him.

**Alfred what are you doing? Just text me.**

_**But there's nothing fun about that.**_

**What do you want?**

_**Yo bodeh ;)**_

I waved at him and walked outside still in my pajamas but with an umbrella.

"Okay Al, what do you really want?"

"I'm making you go to homecoming tonight."

"Al I'm already-"

"I know I know, you don't like the crowds and you don't have a date. But come on, there will be all sorts of fly honies at the school tonight!"

Alfred doesn't know I'm gay.

"Alfred, listen, You don't have to-"

"I do have to, without me, you'll end up living inside those walls forever. The walls of your house I mean."

Matthew sighed, "I planned to go already."

"YOU WHAT!? SERIOUSLY!?"

"Yes, Alfred."

Alfred inspected the boy standing in front of him, me, "hmmm well now that I look at you… could you turn a little to the left?"

I complied, "Yeah, yeah. Look it's really not that big of a deal- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?"

Alfred only smirked, effectively freaking me out, "Well a young lad such as yourself in the spring of his youth, it's only natural you'd want to go out and explore the beauties of being young."

"ALFRED IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT!?"

"So you're not just going to this dance to try and get with your special some-pony?"

"No, Al… well…"

"What's her name?"

"No."

"Is she hot?"

"Yes."

"Really hot?"

"Like looking into a jet engine."

"Choice."

The fact that I've taken an interest in someone human was more than enough for Alfred. I guess he wasn't prying too much since, well, he'd probably see me tonight getting jiggy with the girl of my dreams who is actually a teacher and a grown man. Go me. Cool points out the window. The rest of the day was long and awful. Mostly because I was waiting and it was raining.

And then it was night and still raining. I was really excited. I couldn't even hold it in, my first date, first dance with someone adult and interesting. I started swaging in the mirror admiring my choice of T-Shirt and jeans and relatively toolish but still cool set of adias, mint green. Cuz mint is for pimps. I took my glasses off and couldn't really see anything. I quickly put them back on and stared at myself, I still don't stand out. Not that I want to stand out but I want to look relatively handsome and mature and not like a brat. Is it weird I like the name brat more than birdie?

I heard a honking outside, looks like Alfred was here with his party crew.

"Yo Al, Kiku, Alice."

"Dude get in here, I've already pregamed," Alfred cheered in the driver seat.

"Awesome, I'll get started too then, Kiku, you got the stuff?"

"It was really difficult to set up but yes, I got it."

"Sweet, then give it here."

Alice huffed, annoyed, "Stop talking as if you're going to be cool and actually pregame, as in drink or smoke."

I held the PS4 Controler and Kiku turned on some weird Asian game, "Oh Alice, why do you have to rain on our parade."

"Haha! I get it! Because it's raining," laughed Alfred.

And so we were off to homecoming!

**Yay chapter! Lol Reviw and stuff! Guys I've got some weird stuff in my head for this. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	9. Do What U Want

**DUDES THIS UPDATE DAILY THING IS WORKING! AND TOMORROW IS AN ANIME CON SO I MAKE NO PROMISES BUT I MIGHT JUST UPDATE TWICE TODAY IF I CAN BECAUSE THERE IS A CON TOMORROW AND IM SO EXCITED!?**

We arrived, and Kiku held me back and tied back my hair, "Nice and presentable, good luck tonight."

I was touched, I cheated off of him for the first half of the year and here he is helping me again!

"I feel bad for kicking your ass in Mario Kart." 

Dick.

I, I just gotta laugh here people. I walk in and you know what song is playing? Young Girls by Bruno Mars. What relevance does it have to what's going on? None, but since it's not a fast song or a slow song I'm just watching these kids get sweaty and shy away from the dance floor due to the fact they don't know what dance move to do to this awkwardly paced song. Of the two dance moves they know there is the Lazy Sway, where you get on each other and sway back and forth until the song finally ends and you can do something fun, and there's the Party Jump Fist Bump, where you jump and raise your fist over and e=over again effectively hitting the kids you don't like by "accident" and a circle or mosh pit usually forms.

Me? My dance moves go beyond that of the average teenage male. I was in cotillions. Back in middle school all the girls wanted a piece of my dancing feet… but then my confidence took a plumit for several reasons I won't list because, let's face it, even if nothing happened to me my confidence would have been flushed away by high school in general. It happens to everyone. What happened to me? In the end, not a lot, I blame my face and cowardice. Maybe that's why nothing ever happened? Maybe I just wanted to be interesting. You know that's why I hate Alfred sometimes, he don't even gotta try and he's a slice of bread… or… shit I messed that up.

The electric beat went off through the gym, the song was changing. Oh my god. A goddess's voice went through out echoing among the teens. She was singing the holiest of hymns.

_You can't have my heart_

_And you won't use my mind but_

_Do what you want with my body!_

_Do what you want with my body!_

_You can't stop my voice cause_

_You don't own my life but_

_Do what you want with my body!_

_Do what you want with my body!_

Alfred gave me the all clear as he proceeded to grind on the disinterested Alice and Kiku awkwardly watched, putting the pics on tumblr, no doubt adding a meme to it. Can I look away from this? Alfred was cracking me up trying to twerk on the English girl who stood still as stone, as if she was being a wallflower. She sipped her punch like she was sitting at high tea somewhere. Her eyes however looked like she was going to kill Alfred. He was saved Ivan ran over to counter-twerk Alfred who got mad and they had a twerk-off. I ain't messing with that.

Gilbert… Gilbert… Gilbert… Gilbert… GILBERT!

I found him frowning as he watched the gyrating children. I ran over and took advantage of the situation.

"Yeah, this isn't my thing either."

"No, it isn't that…"

"What is it?"

He suddenly started rotating his hip and dancing, "Their form is awful."

I've just died. What did I just watch? He was worse than all of them combined, "You wanna dance?"

"To this song?"

I mimicked his shitty dance moves. He laughed and allowed me to drag him into the mosh pit. Why do kids always get excited when teachers get in on the action? It's not that big a deal. What is a big deal is all of these tarts "accidentally" bumping into said teacher. All of this heat and booty sweat, I felt dizzy and sick. I had to excuse myself much to my distress. But then he showed up. He walked outside of the gym to check on me. He really is kind and majestic, I take back every bad thing I ever said about him.

"Are you okay?"

Now that you're here!

"Yeah, I'm just not used to crowds," I said slyly. Maybe I too could "accidently" bump into Mr. Beilschmidt.

"Awesome, cause if a kid dies while I'm supposed to be a chaperone I'll probably get fired or worse… have my pay cut. That would be so not awesome because I think I'm supposed to get a raise."

Jerk. Why do I like this guy again? The idea is making me sick.

"I'm gonna puke."

"I'll let you use my bag," he held up a paper bag.

"Why do you have that?"

He opened it up and a yellow bird flew out, "What the hell!?"

He grinned as the bird started to attack me, "Oh he likes you."

He came up, did a barrel roll, and shot a bird feed bazooka at my face.

It was then I noticed him staring at me, I mean once the bird calmed down. He took off my glasses and I flipped. Is that my heart beat!? Can he hear it too!?

"So that's what you really look like," he laughed.

HE'S LAUGHING!? I KNEW IT! I'M HIDIOUS! I'M SO UGLY! I MUST HAVE PIMPLES!? HE'S JUDGING ME! HE'S JUDGEING MY SOUL! I'M SORRY! PLEASE BE MY SECOND AS I KILL MYSELF! AHHHH! I NEVER HAD ANY RIGHT TO SHOW MY FACE! DAMN YOU KIKU!

You can take a boy outside of the walls but you can't take the walls out of the boy. Isn't that what they would say? That's right, at the end of tonight I'll just end up back behind my bricks. Maybe I'd peak out, maybe I'd want to leave again, but I wouldn't. I'd forget what was outside and never think of leaving again. Then I'll grow fat and old and die alone with no one there to dispose of the body but the mushrooms I grew in my loneliness. Something happened then to pull me out of my delusion.

And then he put his arm around me, "It looks good."

He came in like a wrecking ball.

I giant iron sphere came crashing through one of my walls. A giant fist tore the rest of it down. There was an exposure and a frightening sense of being naked. And then a cool breeze came through, was that what wind was like? He came in when the winds changed and brought about a change in me.

And I ended up catching a cold.

**Yay! Update! Review please!**


	10. FanFic Was Being a Dick

**GUYS! NEW CHAPTER! DAILY UPDATES! I think we should all try the daily update challenge (invented just now). It's like good for my creative spirit and gives me a sense of accomplishment. Why don't you get that feeling when you're doing homework? Why do you always have to break my heart? I'll quit talking to myself…**

So you know how a rose called my any other name smells like a rose? I don't really know what that means.

"Pancakes called by any other name smell just as sweet."

"YOU CAN READ MINDS!?"

Gilbert chuckled as he graded papers; it was after school, the time for us (in my dreams), "Only yours."

I stood at the white board solving equations he wrote out before my arrival.

Today my hair was down, as per the norm. He told me I looked good at homecoming. I absently touched my hair. He can read minds now? Could he then? Did he say that to cheer me up, keep me calm? He must be some kind of nerd whisperer. If my unnecessary anxieties and insecurities weren't enough my nose started running. Yeah, remember that cold I was telling you about last chapter? BITCH TURN COLD AS A FREEZER! Anyone get that reference? Yes? Maybe? Well cool points for you if you did. I sniffled, trying to keep it to myself. Great, I'm already not physically attractive and now my nose has decided to become Niagara Falls… Paradise Falls. Anyone know UP?

I turned around when I heard a soft laughter.

"And what's so funny," I said sniffling.

"Nothing. I'm tired of math."

"That's a lie, you get off to equations."

He simply stood up and walked up the board, he looked at it quickly before coming closer and leaning in a little bit. I felt like a helpless hamster. He smiled at me, like a sexual deviant. TAKE ME NOW MY LORD! Shit- he can read minds!? Think about something else, think about something else, think about anything else!? Hockey… Hockey… Polar Bears… Beavers… Beiber… Selina… Spring Breakers… SPRING BREAK 2014!?

"Spring break? Well that would explain why you got every single on of these questions wrong. Get your head in the game brat."

There he goes calling me brat again. It's always some sort of nick name; Birdie, Kid, Brat. Why can't he just call out my name? Why can't he just hold me tightly in his big strong man arms when it's raining outside? Why can't he just swoop down and kiss- hold my hand. Why doesn't he just strip- hold my hand. You know what? Why doesn't he hold my hand? We're two people who like each other. People who like each other hold hands. TAKE MY LOVE MITS YOU SAUCY BASTARD!

"Sixteen?"

"What?"

He held up his car keys, "Wanna go for a drive?"

Of course I jumped at the chance. Before we got into his car he handed me a box of tissues and laughed at my nostrils. I was embarrassed and then he pinched my already red cheeks and called me Kid. I wanna be a grown up.

"Just enjoy being young while you can kid," he said leaving the parking lot.

"Again with the mind reading… and what's with all the names?"

"Names? Oh yeah. Well they're pet names." 

"Pet names?"

"Yeah, because you're the teacher's pet!"

He started laughing and I blew my nose in annoyance. It was quiet for a minute, you could hear the outside muffled by the windows and the hum of his car. I sneaked a peek at him. He looked like he was thinking very intently on something. I realized I was staring and looked ahead.

When I looked back at him a second time I could hear some strange old music playing? What is this? Is that French? Suddenly the color was dimming. I cleaned my glasses, but it still seemed the world was in sepia? He stopped the car in a field somewhere. Then he unbuckled his seat belt.

"Uhh Gilbert, I think I'm sicker than I thought?"

He simply leaned my seat back and loosened his tie, climbing over me effectively pinning me under him.

"Gilbert?"

"Brat."

WOAH SHOOT!? FORGET HOLDING HANDS!

"GIVE IT TO ME!"

I looked around, I was back in the class room. My equations were still totally not solved and I freaked out. DID I FALL ASLEEP STANDING UP!? Oh shit did Gil hear me!? I looked over to his desk where I expected him to be hunched over feverishly solving math problems or staring at me like _give what_?

He was neither. He was asleep. So even math enthusiasts need a nap. I walked over to him, trying not to wake him. I took a seat on his desk and watched him sleep. Well that's not fair, cute guys shouldn't be good at math. He still smelled like cigarettes but I was becoming accustomed to the sent. I decided to try something crazy. I reached my hand out and pinched his ass. Haha, just kidding. I pet his head. Wow, his hair is softer than I thought it would have been. I mean it looks like it would be spikey? I laughed a little to myself, he has soft old man's hair. Fitting for such an old man.

"I'm only twenty seven," he said half asleep.

"WOAH MIND READER!? OR IS THIS ANOTHER DREAM!?"

"What are you talking about," he said rubbing his eyes like a sleepy sixth grader. Seriously, he's the man of the imaginary relationship, he shouldn't be allowed to be so damn cute.

He yawned and sleepily looked to the board, "Well Ludwig will be disappointed."

"Ludwig- your brother, right- Why would he care about my math homework?"

"What? Oh yeah, he couldn't solve those equations and I was having trouble so I decided to give them to you. I figured youth would outweigh experience in this situation."

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GIVING ME COLLEGE LEVEL MATH!?"

**Yay cute short chapter! My nose was runny when I was talking to this kid and in my head I though "Great I'm already physically unattractive and now my nose is runny!?" And I shit you not my next thought was "This would be cute between Matthew and Gilbert." They say write what you know? So that's the update for today, as promised! I made time even with the convention today. REVIEW PLEASE!**


	11. Marry Me

**ANOTHER UPDATE!? BITCHIN! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW FUN IT'S GETTING FOR ME TO UPDATE THIS FIC! Also Sorry I disappeared for like 2 days, fanfiction wasn't letting me sign in so I was just like "no! My challenge!"**

"Turn Left," Said Gilbert.

"Turn Right," Said I.

"Turn Up," he replied.

"Turn up?" I replied.

"TURN UP!" He shouted.

"TURNIP!" I shouted.

"Doesn't matter had sex," he responded.

"Turn so far up that we're down," I responded.

"You win this round," he surrendered.

I did not have to surrender, for I had won.

I had a moment then, I remembered something. There was that moment at the dance when he tried to make me feel better… He put his arm around me and bit gently on my ear. My face turned red and I was going to spontaneously combust or worse: ask why he did that. That's a stupid question, I mean what kind of question is that? The answer follows he likes you or is at least sexually attracted to you. Don't go asking why a sexy man does what he does, you already know why. Oh shit I have another flash back boner!? Wait a minute that never even happened? What am I talking about? I'm like that guy from Harry Potter with his bogus memories. Well, might as well enjoy it. Hold up, I grabbed the radio and played "It's Been A Long Long Time," the Helen Forrest version, the classy version.

"Hey kid what are you thinking about?"

"A sexy flash back," I said half paying attention like a DUMB ASS.

He started laughing, "you know you can be pretty funny when you want to be, haha. Reminds me of my first love?"

"Your first love," this was the freaking highest honor ever bequeathed unto someone as unworthy as me.

"She was really beautiful.," great so I remind him of a girl, "An absolute mystery, but with time and hard work eventually I figured her out and she was all mine. She gave me chills man, what a rush."

I inspected his face closer, "When did you first encounter her?"

"Middle school?"

"… was she an equation for some advanced math course?"

"How could you tell!? I tell you, she was something, one of the hardest problems to solve, but she wasn't just any problem, she was mine. Giving her up after turning her in… was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

I glared at him, "You ever love a person?"

"Duh?"

"Who?"

He grinned, "It's a secret."

Doki dfjhaeushfcleaszd Doki. Looking at him closely I realized just how much I liked this guy? It was way more than one of my passing crushes or romantic escapades, I could seriously see myself falling for him in a serious way. Now I was panicking, but if that's the case… what would happen if I would ever have to give him up!? LIKE A MATH PROBLEM!?

"WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU TURNED IN YOUR MATH HOMEWORK!?"

"What?"

"HOW DID YOU GET OVER HER!?"

He stared at me curiously and then smiled like the all-knowing Cheshire cat, "Are you talking about me?"

I couldn't say anything after that, just a series of profanities and then I started slamming my face against my desk. WHY OF ALL PEOPLE DID I HAVE TO FALL FOR HIM!? WHY IS HE DOING THIS!? Don't be stupid Matthew… you know why… because he is a wrecking ball.

"I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!" 

I heard the song suddenly, don't tell me the school is actually a boat floating and we've hit an ice berg!? Never let go gil! Never let go! Don't let me die a vergin. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Sorry, that's Ludwig calling."

"Of course."

"And don't worry, you're not gonna die a virgin."

"SO YOU CAN READ MINDS!?"

"Just your, what's up Ludwig?"

**Yay update! Please review guys! And heck out my youtube channel for other weird shit! But mostly, review.**


	12. La Vie Un Rose

**Dudes I have his ice cream that's like pumpkin, caramel, and salt? Whenever I'm depressed or lonely (all the time, such is the life of a teenager) I eat that shit. Also there is bread with like no carbs in it… dudes… I'lll never be fat again!? But I'll still be an antisocial jellyfish…**

Alice laughed, "You want what?"

"Don't laugh," I said absolutely embarrassed, "I'll just ask someone else."

"Oh no you don't," she said pulling me in by the shirt collar, "And I know just where to go."

It was strange set of circumstances. Gilbert, my beautiful S.O.B. teacher, secretly asked me to come hang out with him at this Halloween party thing. It would be your usual dimly lit, scary movie playing, macking in the closet- oh baby do you know what that's worth? Oh heaven is a place on earth! Anyway, I wanted to look… nice? No, I wanted to look naughty as balls. I want to MACK! So I went to Alice, the sexy bitchy and single girl with all the power because let's face it… even to a gay man she's a sharpie: Fine. I asked her to help me get a costume and now she's dragging me to a French clothing store with special costumes… where Francis is working part time (mostly because he's a perv). Alice didn't want to admit it, and neither did Alfred, but she has the biggest sexual fantasy crush on Francis… everyone did… even me sometimes… even me…

Anyway so here we are at this fashionable store, I froze in fear. Oh god… I'm going to walk in there? Would they even let me? I'm going to enter through the doors and be harpooned. I'll wash up against the grass and die as a beached whale with a maple leaf hoodie on… and worse, a virgin!?

_I won't let you die a virgin._

Oh my god. That's what this party is. My life… everything that made me pure and childish will be taken away…

"FUCK YEAH!"

Alice slapped me upside the head, "You're acting stupid again. Come on… let's… go… yeah…"

She was frozen too. Let's face it, we kind of look like stalkers. I can see it in her eyes, that worry. What if he finds out, what if he already knows, what if he doesn't like me back, what if this is all a game? I know that look because it's the same one in my eyes when I go to see Gilbert every day after school. It's the same look in my eyes when he has me run him a favor. It's the same look, I know it all too well. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, it'll be fine. If anything Francis will be happy to see you-"

She punched me in the jaw, "WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FRANCIS!?"

"DAMN IT STOP BEING SUCH A BIPOLAR TSUDERE BITCH!"

"TSU- WHAT YOU THINK I ACTUALLY L-L-LIKE F-F- FUCK FACE IN THERE!?"

"JUAT ADMIT IT ALREADY!"

"THERE'S NOTHING TO ADMIT!"

"THEN SAY HIS NAME!"

"F-F- FROG FACE!"

"SAY IT!"

"Say what," asked a third voice.

"F-FRANCIS!" She yelled out in shock.

"Oh my little students came to visit me, come in, come in!"

We had no choice really, he just dragged us inside. You know Alice and I are really similar when it comes to our taste in men and how it gets us into bad situations… Am I going to do that thing? Yes. I'm going to take extra long changing clothes so they have some time to be one on one. It really isn't fair that I will be the only one macking a fine teacher, I have to share my good fortune you know?

So with Francis's help and Alice's we found me some weird things to try on. As promised I took my time in the dressing room… but also paid close attention to whatever they were saying.

"So is Matthew actually going out for one," Mr. Bonnefoy asked.

"Y-yeah. He was asked to go to a party."

"Well it must have been Mr. Beilschmidt. He's the only one I can think of that would actually make Matthew want to roam free in the spring of his youth."

"That so? I guess that would make sense."

And then it was quiet. It wasn't a big deal but it was quiet. I opened the curtain and stepped out, dressed up like a prince. I was kind of embarrassed, but I slid some of my hair behind my ear. I couldn't look up at their faces, because I know they might see mine and how red it is. Would Gilbert even like something as corny as this? Finally my eyes went up and as they did a large pair of French arms wrapped around me and glomped the ever living life out of me.

"AHHH YOU'RE SO CUTE! IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO RAVISH YOU ON SIGHT THEN HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE!"

"H-help! M-maple! I c-can't breath!"

Alice tore him off, obvious jealousy scorching through he veins with every pulse. Francis you're a dead man if you don't give into her desires. Believe it.

"O-Okay Matt, so we have your costume," he face was bright red and the next part of her sentence was barely audible, "n- now lets… fine mine…"

Francis and I stared at her blushing angry face and together we said, "awww you're so cute!"

"SHUT UP!"

We picked out some random things for her to look at and they were all pretty cute. But it freaked us out, what she decided she wanted. There was a very very VERY sexy pirate costume hanging on the wall, it looked expensive too. She's not going to pick that one is she? SHE IS!? She reached up, kind of on the short side, and tried to get it. Suddenly Francis was behind her, it was super romantic, and he got it for her. When she took the hanger from him their hands barely touched and her face went up in flames. You could tell she wanted to smack her face against a wall until it all went away. She robotically walked into the changing room and then it was quiet.

"You're getting friendly," I said half accusingly and half jokingly.

"Well she's so cute, how can I not?"

There was a sudden bang on the wall. Yup, she could hear us, and she was smacking her face on the bricks.

"She's sixteen Francis."

He laughed and ruffled my hair, "So are you."

He was referring to Gilbert. That's right, I'm only sixteen. Here I am with high hopes of a normal relationship but I can't have that with him because… HE'S MY CALCULUS TEACHER!? DAMN IT!?

"But before you go slamming you head against a wall," he started, "just remember you won't always be sixteen. But that doesn't mean you should go looking for trouble. Just enjoy being young while you can."

"I- I- I JUST WANNA BE YOUNG WITH HIM," I said like the sniveling brat I am.

He laughed and lightly punched me on the shoulder, giving me instant years of therapy, "Just be yourself Matthew, it'll be okay."

And then Alice came out of the dressing room. Holy shit. Alfred, if only you were here. You would probably ask her to marry you. Hell, I could ask her to marry me if I wasn't set on running away to California with Gilbert and getting married there. She was an extremely naughty, sexy, bitchy pirate and I'm pretty sure Francis would molest her any second. Instead he just stared at her.

She turned bright red, "Yeah yeah, I look stupid, whatever!"

He got up and held his hand out, "Would you… shake my hand?"

She turned bright red absolutely confused by this. Still her arm moved without permission and allowed the older man to take it. He squeezed slightly and her face exploded into a red fire of embarrassment. I know them feels. He nodded, letting go.

"Well, let's get these things paid for and send you on your way."

He waved goodbye to us as we got into Alice's car. She drove us about two blocks away before stopping and crying.

"WHY OF ALL THE ASS HOLES I COULD HAVE FALLEN FOR IT HAD TO BE HIM!?"

I pat her shoulder, "You're not alone…"

**Yay update! I love Halloween but I never write it in when it comes to fanfics? Which is stupid. So I went to a con and scored a lot of loot, wish I could turn back the clock and go again but whatever. And on another note it looks like something else in my life is looking good. So go now my hommies and review!**


	13. Over The Rainbow

**So I met this woman over the weekend and I can't get her out of my mind. I was so stupid. I only took a picture with her and like a total dumb ass didn't ask for her name or any contact info. I'm just matthew up in here… dreaming of the older person who will never notice me… Maybe I can run into her at some point?**

Halloween. What the hell am I doing? I look like a dork. I had the address written on my hand. I looked at it and thought of the way he suddenly held my hand and wrote all over it. I promise never to wash it again. Anyway I walked up to the door and was about to ring the bell but realized that would make me seem uncool because in all the movies the cool kids just walk in… so I walked in. This place was filled with humans from I'd say 18 to 33. In other words, I wasn't that out of place. I went to find Gilbert, hoping to mack on him like these horn dogs were macking on each other!

Tonight was going to be a good night; I could feel it in my leg hairs.

I caught a look at myself in one of the hallway mirrors, I really did look kind of stupid. I wonder how Alice is doing? Did she go back to see Francis? Was she having better luck? Or maybe Al went over to her place to drop another shitty pick up line. I have to focus on the problem here, I look like an idiot. Okay, a new problem caught my attention.

There was a weird room off to the side with lots of people inside. I decided that I should go in there looking for Gilbert. My eye twitched at what I saw next. There was a huge TV and someone singing karaoke… and there was also a pole. And dancing on that pole to the shit singing was Gilbert. He hopped off after doing some crazy trick, "And that's how you pay your student loans kids!" They all cheered and threw cheap candies at him. I went into shock when he saw me, "Oh guys the kid's here! That's the little brat I was telling you guys about! Get up here Birdie!"

Everyone looked around for "Birdie." He laughed, "Guys he's right there!" And then they noticed me, "Come on up!"

I had no choice, they threw me up onto the small stage. They wanted me to get drunk and sing a song like the guy before me. They all stared at me, I cant do this. Help. Someone.

"Okay guys, I've got just the song for you," said Gilbert picking the track.

A beat started and I panicked. This song? THIS SONG!? Gilbert handed me the mic and hopped on that pole like he was the Easter bunny!? I don't think I can do this, I now I can't do this, I'm just some dork who thought he could step outside of himself and go to a party and maybe even get a chance at falling in love with this crazy man that taught him Calculus.

"It's alright Matthew," said Gilbert so only they could hear, "It'll be awesome."

Me, I looked up at Gilbert hanging upside-down from a pole. He smiled at me and called me by my name. He really did it. He called me Matthew. I wasn't a kid, I wasn't a brat, I wasn't even birdie; I was Matthew. I could feel another explosion inside of me, that explosion being Gilbert. I looked out at the crowd and took in a deep breath. I was going to step outside of myself, I was going to be cool, I was going to be me, and everyone would see me, including Gilbert.

I started moving my lips and singing the song, the lights flashed at me and I was scared to death, but it was a good kind of scared, if there was such a thing. Okay, sing wasn't appropriate, more like I whispered and held the mic far away from me so no one could hear. I said they'd see me, but no one was hearing me, no way in hell.

"Matt, sing damn it or you're failing my class!"

The mic shook in my hand as I moved it closer to my face, "T-talk- TALK DIRTY TO ME!"

When the partygoers could finally hear me they were all grinding like no one's business. I really didn't think teachers did stuff like this- no wait- teachers don't do stuff like this. Gilbert is just a special case. Finally the song ended and I was able to escape watchful eyes. Gilbert also ditched his post and said he needed a smoke break. So we sat outside.

"Kid, you suck at singing."

"Yeah well you couldn't have picked a normal song?"

"And here I thought you wanted me to talk dirty to you," his grinned.

I simply glared at him, "That's for another time, when I'm not a brat."

He only laughed. It was quiet for a little bit and then we heard "Chances Are" in the other room. It was super loud and Gilbert put out his cigarette.

"Get up brat."

"What?"

He pulled me up to my feet and we stood facing each other on the porch. This song isn't old, but it's the oldest thing we've played since this story began. He took my hands and started swaying awkwardly. Oh my god. This is the payoff. I grinned at his red face, he was either completely drunk or blushing, I think he was blushing since he didn't smell like more than two beers. I put his arms around me and I got really close to him, YOLO. We swayed in the cool air for a little bit. I rested my face in his chest and eventually he held me close and rested his head on mine. YOU BITCHES AINT GOT SHIT ON ME! Who am I talking to? The song was ended and we were pulling away. We stood there for a minute, this was it. I was going to finally break the barriers of teacher student relationships. I was really going to do it. We got a little bit closer to each other, he smelled like tobacco and I probably smelled like toothpaste because I spent thirty minutes brushing and re-brushing my teeth before I got here. We were so close now I could feel his breath. And then he suddenly pulled away and smirked at me.

"Brat."

"Fuck face."

He lit another cigarette and inhaled, "I'm not kissing you."

"Well fuck you too."

Wow, did I really get excited at the idea of being with this guy? Maybe I should shoot myself in the head because I obviously am not using it. WHAT A DICK!

"No I mean not here, I'm still a couple hundred years older than you and your teacher."

"…"

I grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him down and stopped half way. Shit I'm not as brave as I thought. He just laughed at me and nodded his head, leaning in all the way until finally…

He fell over onto the floor.

What the hell?

"Gilbert?"

He was clutching his chest and not exactly breathing…

"GILBERT!?"

Damn it!? Oh my god, what do I do, what do I do!? I grabbed my phone and called 911.

"YO!? I MEAN HELLO!? I MEAN- HELP!? GIL- I MEAN MY- HE- HEART ATTACK!?"

The woman on the other side told me to calm down and quickly give her the address and find someone to give him rescue breathing until the ambulance arrived. I ended the call shortly after that and watched Gilbert on the floor. Fuck.

I started pumping on his chest and then leant down to his face. I can't believe this is how our first kiss is going to go… wow I sound shallow. Whatever. I gave him the minty fresh breath of life as we waited for help. Then I realized I'd have to get out of there, I mean I'm sixteen at this crazy party. When I heard the alarm I made a run for the bushes and Gilbert was helped to the ambulance. I watched as the car disappeared.

I did it, I kissed Gilbert, and now he's being sent to the hospital. WELL CALL ME THE LOVE DOCTOR! I should really be worried more… I mean I am but… I JUST KISSED GILBERT GO ME! SELF HIGH FIVE!

**I was being nuts when I wrote this. I really was just being weird and I thought it would be no funny but weird if Gilbert got a heart attack. So yeah, they kissed but they didn't… REVIEW! XD**


	14. Sweater Weather

**HER NAME IS EMMA!? I HAVEN'T EACTLY RUN INTO HER BUT A FRIEND OF MINE SAW HER PICTURE ON MY PHONE AND WAS LIKE, "Oh you know Emma?" WOO HOO! I AM THAT MUCH CLOSER TO MEETING HER AGAIN!**

It's been one week… I've been suffering for one week… I tried to go see him at the hospital but Francis advised me against it. Damn you Francis. I slumped through the hallway. Each day without him pissing me off was like each day I was sinking deeper and deeper into quick sand. It was like walking through the ocean with the current trying to crush me. It was like a stack of pancakes… without maple syrup. WHAT KIND OF HELL IS THIS!?

I sat in class with this bozo of a substitute teacher. He was so round about with this dumb smile plastered to his face. If he keeps up this whole song and dance I might just clock him. Not only is he completely stupid but he also keeps calling me "Alfred." I'm gonna shank a bitch.

"Alfred, will you run me an errand?"

"Go run it yourself," I grumbled.

"But aren't you the class dog- I mean errand boy?"

"I'd watch it if I were you, dogs can kill."

The Cuban son of a bitch just glared at me, "Alfred I would watch my tone if I were you. I'm not afraid to give you a detention."

"And I'm not afraid to beat you senseless."

He glared at me, but he didn't say anything else. Yeah, I talk tough but I'm pretty sure he's going to have some thugs beat me up in the parking lot. I was careful when school ended and saw Alfred being carried away by some Cuban guys probably to get the shit kicked out of him. Oh, I should go help him. I _should _go help him, but I won't because TODAY GILBERT GETS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL! AWWWWWW! I skipped at lightning speed down the road. The hospital was on the next hill over so like a fifteen to twenty minute walk. Wow it's getting cold…. Why is it so cold outside? Wow it's really freaking cold… I'm freezing!?

I hobbled over to the hospital doors and thawed when I got inside. I looked around, and I waited, I waited for an hour and realized he had probably left already. Shit. Oh no! Wait! He walked out of a hallway and shook a doctor's hand and walked away. When he saw me his face didn't brighten like mine, actually he didn't look happy at all?

"Hey Gil?"

"Matthew is that you?"

"Yes?"

He half smiled and slumped to his knees pressing his face to my stomach, "Oh Matthew it was awful in there, they wouldn't let me smoke at all. I've been cigarette free for five days, I think I might just die."

I smiled at him, but it was more of a _you've got to be kidding me_ smile. I sighed and dragged him to the hospital parking lot, "I got you a present you sick fuck."

"What is it?"

I wear it's like I'm the adult in the situation. I held up a carton of cigarettes and threw them at his face. He snatched them mid air and looked way too happy.

"BITCHIN! THEY DON'T LET ME SMOKE JACK SHIT IN THERE!?"

"Yeah I know, you just said that."

He pulled one out and lit it up. BLAZE IT! Suddenly he spit it out and started hacking. He crushed the box in his hands, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? IT DIDN'T TASTE LIKE ANYTHING!?"

"So this is what addiction looks like," I said under my breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"

"I said I got you one with a lower nicotine count, it'll help you quit faster. I can't have you having another heart attack."

"TRAITOR! YOU'RE WORKING WITH THE ENEMY!"

"OH SHUT UP! I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE ANOTHER HEART ATTACK! THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME THE ENEMY!"

"DON'T MAKE ME GIVE THEM UP! I KNOW THAT THESE NEAT LITTLE SOLDIERS OF DEATH ARE IN FACE TRYING TO KILL ME BUT I KEEP COMING BACK! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I NEED THEM!"

"SHUT UP AND KISS ME!"

"What?"

"You're my neat little soldier of death. I NEED you. So stop dicking around and let me come back. How you feel about you fucking smokes, that's how I was all week ya prick!"

He stared at me and I glared at him. Wait… did I just say that? Oh my god I just said that!? I actually said what I was thinking for one and now I regret it. Shit, that was so corny. Ugh I must sound like a brat to him. Fuck my life. Well I mean it could be worse, I could be Alfred right now.

Gilbert suddenly grabbed my hand and ran with me off to the side and then stared at me for half a second before leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"Don't be stingy, cigarettes aren't cheep."

"Those weren't cigarettes."

"Yes they were now pay the piper you rat."

"Whatever you say, Birdie."

Before I could get pissed off at him he pressed his lips to mine. AS TIME GOES BY WAY PLAYING AND THE WORLD WAS SPINNING AND EVERYTHING WAS- Not really. I mean it was totally, for lack of a better word, awesome. Still I expected like the Disney channel thing? That's what I get. Still when he parted I wished he didn't. Okay, so it wasn't like how the movies made it out to be but actually it might have been better because that wasn't the movies just now, that was real life. I was never one for leaving my house and living but hey, he's knocked down one of my towers and is blowing in with the wind. Yeah there wasn't any music playing or fire works, but I can't say it wasn't magical.

**Yay update! Oh that was so cute! XD I was just cracking up when Alfred was being dragged away and Matt was like "I'll save you!" and then he's like "Oh but that would mean me being late for Gilbert, sorry Al! Peace!" Lol a true friend.**


	15. A Kiss to build a Dream On

**These past few days I've been having some serious Matthew moments. I'm so invisible most of the time and I'll talk normally and no one will hear me. It's kind of sad but I've found myself able to insult people to their face more so it's not all bad. I guess that's why a lot of us like the internet so much, I feel like I'm cool or something. CHAPTER 15 AWAY!**

I walked back into Mr. Beilschmidt's room with a pack of cigarettes.

"Hey buddy, did you get me what I asked for?"

"Nope."

"WHAT!?"

"It has a lover tar count."

"Lover?"

"I meant lower, jeez," I threw him the pack and turned away to hide my blushing.

He stared at them for a minute and sighed saying he didn't have any others. I opened a window and he lit it up. I watched him for a minute before walking to the board to solve an unbelievably difficult math problem, no doubt belonging to Ludwig. I'm not gonna say I was always really good at math but I was always really good at math, that's why I'm in calculus at sixteen but for some reason these equations didn't make sense to me. At the end of the day I could always count on my math grade and now it was almost like I was failing. I don't wanna blame Mr. Beilschmidt but I blame Mr. Beilschmidt. He's so distracting. I guess he could sense my unease.

"Well, these aren't as bad as the other pack you got me," he said giving in a little.

"What do those taste like anyway," because they're not the best smelling thing.

He got up and walked to the board checking my problem, he looked pleased for once. Did I actually get something right?

"You're two for two," he started, "and as for the cigarettes would you like to taste?"

"I don't really want to smoke it I was just-"

He held onto my arm and bent down to kiss me. You see? That's why I suck at math this year. Because if it wasn't happening I was daydreaming about it, I had wanted him to want me for so long and now he does. I know he busts my chops and sometimes I want to strangle him but you know what, he's actually really cool. E's sort of like this bird winged prince coming down from the heavens and carrying me away to some other place where he'll eat me. I'm about that.

You know who isn't cool? Mr. Bonnefoy isn't cool. That's a lie, you can't be a player and not be cool. I was currently sitting at lunch with Alice, Alfred in line getting food. I would have found Gilbert but she said she needed me.

"Help me Matthew," she begged out of breath, "I'm going to be Palo Alto!?"

"Palo what?"

"It's a movie," she said slapping me.

"What happened?"

_Alice was leaving the French room, school was over and she was ready to not have to ogle the Frenchman. She was ready to not have to dream of rubbing the confidence fluff on his face. She was ready to not want to- HOLD HANDS! THAT'S TOTALLY WHERE THIS WAS GOING! She huffed as she approached the door._

"_Alice?"_

_She turned around, "Yes toad?"_

_He smiled, "I understand that you're young and curious but you can't fall for me," he said sounding like he wanted to convince himself, "these feelings will pass. Don't worry."_

_Seriously, why are all teachers such ass holes in the beginning? We won't think less of you for not saying no before you say yes. Just give in a little._

_She smiled back, "I understand that you're old and full of it, but don't think I find you even the least bit attractive. These feelings you speak of won't have to pass because they were never there in the first place."_

"So what's the problem other than no means no?" I asked her.

_It was then when she was in the hallway Mr. Bonnefoy called her back. When she reluctantly turned around he asked to shake her hand again and she scolded him, asking what the hell that was about?_

"_I just don't want to mess it up…"  
_

_Mess what up? Dude you're way too bipolar for any human. Saying this then doing that then implying this then not doing that._

"_I only do it because jealousy suits you," he said smiling and then he kissed her hand as he face went up in flames._

"Woah, I need to write that one down," I said to myself.

"Shut up Matthew! Why is he trying to make me jealous!?"

It was quiet between us and then I said with a completely straight face, "He gone hop on that d."

"NO THE D!"

And then Alfred came along, "what about the d?"

"Go away Alfred we're being serious," she groaned.

There was nothing serious about what we were talking about… other than the fact we were breaking the law and trying to hook up with our respected teachers, one of us doing better than the other and by one of us I mean me! BOOYA!


	16. The Boy is on Fire

**So updates aren't daily anymore, I'm getting too busy for that. When school lets out I'll either be done with this fic or go back to daily updates because I think they're fun. REVIEW!**

"Mr. Beilschmidt, I can't see shit on the board," said a student.

He just smiled and said smacking the computer, "That's because this is a video on equations, not shit."

Let me give you some info while the class is giggling. We're sitting in math class while Mr. Beilschmidt tries to show us some weird math video. It isn't really his fault, it's mostly the school's crappy equipment. He smacked the computer a few more times until a video popped up clear as day. It looked like Gilbert… High School Gilbert.

"_Math City Bitch, Math, Math City Bitch. 10, 10, 10, 20 equals 50 Bitch."_

Gilbert freaked out while we laughed. He immediately shut the video off and glared at the students.

"So you that was funny?"

I spoke up, surprisingly clear as day, "No, we think it's awesome."

His glare immediately fell. Instead he started smiling, "Well thank you, I try."

He refused to allow us to the see the rest. I figured I could see it someday when I'm his nosey housewife. Class ended and Gilbert announced that he had to take a call in the main office. As I watched him leave his fine booty called to me as if it were the albino siren of complex math. I don't care what they say, I must hear its sweet booty song!

"Hey Matt," said Lizzy suddenly jumping in front of my vision of majestic butt, "I've got a question for you."

Kiku tried to pull her off, begging her not to tell me. When he said that it occurred to me, someone is noticing me and it's a girl!? When was the last time I talked to a girl? Oh yeah I guess Alice, but a girl other than Alice… okay my mom but other than someone I'm related to… does Francis count? No, he's definitely a man. The point it I talk to girls a lot more than I think I do so this isn't as big of a deal as I thought it was going to be.

"Are you in love with Mr. Beilschmidt?" she askes.

I turned to Kiku, he only apologized, "I'm very sorry, she and I are part of this club and… well only she knows and I've sworn her to secrecy."

"Shove a cupcake in my eye," she said crossing her heart, "So, have you two * **beep ***"

Sorry, we had to cut what she said next because it got really graphic really quick and my nose bled all over the desk. What the hell is this girl smoking… and where do I get some because that's actually kind of hot in a sick way- no, get your mind out of the gutter. Think about holding hands… holding hands… THE D!?

"Hey, get to class you brats," Gilbert called into the room. Kiku immediately scrammed out of there. Lizzy left, but was on the slow side as she did so. I grabbed my things and he walked over, "I'll give you a note. Come hang out with me for a bit."

I was beaming to say the least.

"Fine by me," with everyone else out of the room and this being his planning period left me all kinds of time to introduce the idea of *beep *

"Hey, that was Ludwig on the phone," he started, "You know, my brother?"

Dude, of course I know. Before I even spoke to you I was stalking you. Sometimes I would ride by your house on my bike, sometimes five times a day. Hey, I'm only a kid, what do I know about the law and restraining orders?

"Yeah, he's in his first year of college right?"

"That's right, good memory. Anyway, I told him about how you and I are _dating _and he said I should invite you over and he would cook something good. He's got this girl in his class that comes and helps him cook sometimes so she'll probably be there too. I know it's corny and it's sort of weird since he thinks he's my parent sometimes… uhhh… but yeah you wanna come over tonight?"

"You had me at dating," I said dazed.

"What?"

"I said it sounds entertaining!"

"Okay awesome, I'll call Ludwig back and let him know. So which class are you going to?" He asked pulling out a pen and paper.

"Just kiss me and that'll get me to class," I said feeling kind of on the 'I think I'm sexy but I'm just acting stupid' side.

He laughed, "That invisibility thing you do will get you into a lot of trouble if you keep using it."

"How so?"

He just laughed, pulling me down and kissing my cheek, "Because if you stay invisible you won't have the chance to get out and live. You're lucky I was able to spot you."

I stared at him, was it that he was actually looking through the hole he made in my walls? Was he actually seeing me and thinking of me? Did he want me to go out and explore the world and make friends other than Alfred and Kiku and Alice?

"That and," he said giggling in the manliest way, "When you finally graduate I want people to see us together, I want to rub it in all of their faces."

**Yay update! Next chapter you will actually see Ludwig. Get hype. Tomorrow I have a two hour directed studies so I'll probably spent the whole time updating this fic.**


	17. Smoke Weed Everyday

**Lol updates!**

I went to Gilbert's house to have dinner with him and his brother and his brother's friend who is a girl but isn't his girlfriend. I am so glad to be out of that social pool. It seemed simple enough in my head, dinner with the Beilschmidt's. Gilbert liked me enough, and his brother didn't give off any weird vibes when I spoke with him over the phone.

"_Yes, Hello, this is Ludwig Beilschmidt. I'd like to formally ask you to dinner tonight- wait- that didn't come out right. That is to say, my brother, you, and I all having dinner."_

"_Hey Luddy who's that," asked a voice in the background._

"_Oh, this is Gilbert's boyfriend… Matthew? Matthew, that's his name."_

"_HI MATTHEW! CIAO CIAO! ARE YOU CUTE? ARE YOU SINGLE BECAUSE I SURE AM!" Yelled the voice._

"_Felicia stop it!"_

"_I'm only kidding- Ludwig? No! Please! Don't make me run laps! Help! Matthew! Help!"_

_And then the phone hung up. Gilbert asked if I needed the address to his place and I could have said no, because of course I know where he lives, but I said yes so he wouldn't put the hoodie drive by guy and myself together. He had to think I had no idea where he lived and I didn't go through his garbage… okay one time and you're labeled as a freak._

I stood at the door of his two story house, it was blue, light blue, like a doll's house. I was having a French moment, the slow music and I looked over the flower covered porch to see Gilbert there, older now, I'd say in his fifties. He became a distinguished grey type, not that his hair color changed or anything, he just looked so wise reading in the light of the setting sun.

"Come sit by me my dear."

"Oh? You don't want to call me brat?"

He smiled, so wise and handsome, "The time for that is long behind us. You're not a brat anymore."

"… does- does that mean we can… HOLD HANDS!? I WAS GOING TO SAY HOLD HANDS!"

He smiled with all of his perfectly white teeth and suddenly he was gone. The sun had not even begun to set, there was still another hour and I was sort of early. I looked at what I was wearing and felt stupid. Jeans and a band t-shirt, a rubber wrist band that said, "test subject." I look like a jackass? Where is my snap back, it's time to party and work out bro. I might as well drink bud light. FML, I'm going home and changing.

I turned around when I heard the front door open behind me. A beautiful tan woman jumped me from behind. I turned to face her and her face met mine. Woah, is she kissing me!? I think she is!? Help what do I do!? She's going to judge me! She's going to report to Gilbert that I have no idea what I'm doing and the only kissing I really know about happened in the movies!? Gilbert? Shit, if Gilbert sees this I'm so done. FUCK! Speak of the sexy devil he was in the fucking doorway showing no sign of interest in what was happening. She freed herself when another physical specimen appeared with eyes bright blue. He picked her up off the ground and did a back bend sending her face into the cement below them!? What the hell!?

"Gah! Gilbert it wasn't what it looked like," I stammered like an idiot.

"It's okay Mat-"

"I can't atone for this sin! But you must understand that I would never ever betray you! Not when I know you're going to mature like a fine wine! Please don't- did you say it was okay?"

He pointed to the blonde beautiful man and the crazy kissy woman.

"Feli, remember what I told you. In this country we don't kiss people we've just met and even after that," he waited for her to finish the sentence like a teacher trying to explain sentence structure to a flunkie.

"We stick to just the cheek," she said poking her cheek.

"Very good, now introduce yourself properly and then we'll go finish cooking," he said as if she were a kid who stole a cookie at her grandmother's house.

"I'm Felicia, ciao," she extended her hand and I weekly shook it. She pulled me in and kissed both of my cheeks, "By now!"

My left eye twitched when I looked at her leaving. The tall man introduced himself as Ludwig and he was very captivating. If only my heart didn't belong to Gilbert. He apologized on her behalf; I simply said that she was nice and stared off in a daze. That was more physical contact than a game of dodge ball…. Dodge ball… memories…

"_Yeah, one kid to go!"_

"_One kid? Who are you- oh yeah there's one kid left."_

"_Quick! Let's win this!"_

_The moved to throw their balls at me, yeah laugh, but I vanished._

"_What!? Where did he go!?"_

_The next thing they knew, I was right behind their team with a ball in hand, and my aim up at the basket ball net. The rules were, hit the square above the net and all your dead team mates can return to the game. I hit the square and everyone turned to look at me. And then I vanished again, walking at my leisure back to my side of the court. I've never been hit in dodge ball and I'm always the last guy in. Even so, they'd always pick the kid with the broken leg before they picked me._

"Matt? I lost you for a sec?"

"Gilbert?"

"You wanna come inside?"

I nodded coming back to reality, "Yeah. Can I see your bedroom?"

"My bedroom?"

"Yeah."

"… Well aren't you a team player. If my bro wasn't home then maybe- hold on, you're still only sixteen kid. Maybe next time," he started laugh and incoherently rambling to himself.

"Hey Gilbert?"

"What is it?"

I honestly didn't know what to say, "Is it really okay I come in?"

He smiled, putting his arm around me, "Of course! You were specially chosen by the awesome me and even better have Ludwig's full support! Don't take it to heart when I call you kid, haha."

Specially chosen, he said. Maybe I have unnecessary anxiety sometimes. Dinner at Gilbert's house, I'm looking forward to it! Okay, no I'm gonna chicken out- no I'm already here! Come on Matthew! Grow some pokeballs don't hesitate!

**Yay update! Review if you want a speedy update. We're getting some back story on Gilbert! Not really back story… more like weird parts of his past… for example: Gilbert committed theft at the white house! XD**


	18. Something Stupid

**BEHOLD! Guys I love the That Anime Show podcast, and I fell behind for a bit and just found out that it ended. My favorite podcast has come to an end and Michael Tatum is my muse, without his voice to guide me through these awful times… well let's just say I'm not sure how I'll get along. I hope I get to meet him one day. I think if I did meet him I'd probably cry, he's like that one movie you watch when you're sad to cheer up or that one anime that always comes to mind. Anyway he's just really cool and I'm just happier when I hear his voice and I'm sounding like a stalker… I'll stop now… I've just had a really bad day…**

"Hey did it hurt," Gilbert asked while we waited in the living room for dinner.

"When I fell from heaven," I responded killing his pick up line.

"No! When you… fell… from… that tree."

"It's plastic."

"Well did it hurt or not?"

"… Yeah I guess a little."

"Well that explains the jacked up face." 

"At least I don't masturbate to calculus."

"THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US!?"

I laughed at him as he panicked. Then things settled down again. We continued watching some TV, occasionally hearing Ludwig scold his pretty friend who is a girl but his not his girlfriend. Once again, I am so glad to not be in that social pool. Gilbert checked his phone absentmindedly and scratched his stomach. I admired the quick peak at his rockin bod. It was then I had the passing thought, 'I wish I had a six pack.' Before I tell you about how I started laughing uncontrollably at myself, let me tell you now that I am simply less than toned, but I'm not fat. Just saying.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just though of something weird."

"Tell me about it?"

"I'd rather not. Do you have a bathroom?"

"No we have pots and we dump them into the street every morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we're all about tradition."

"That seems a little much but alright, where do I go?"

"That door over there," he pointed out.

"Thanks," I said getting up to walk over.

"Matthew?"

"Yeah?"

"I was kidding about the pots."

"… I knew that," I didn't know that.

"Just checking," he laughed not believing me.

I opened the door to go to the bathroom. True to his words he had a very normal bathroom. The word awesome was written in lipstick on the mirror… why does Gilbert own lipstick? You know what, his tranny secret life of Prussia Montana is none of my business. And then I saw something unsettling… there was a painting, a very kick ass painting, of President Roosevelt hanging over the toilet… what the fuck? I couldn't pee with him watching, so I just opened the door again and watched Gilbert's eyes drift from the TV to me.

"Gil… Gilbert? What is that?"

"A toilet?"

"Above it…"

"Above it? Oh yeah, President Roosevelt. What about it?"

"Why is it in the bathroom?"

"I don't know? It just is?"

"But it's a really nice painting, it looks authentic."

And that made him smile that evil smile of his, "That's because it is."

"… it is? But that's impossible.?"

"No it's not? I'm glad you brought it up though, it's actually an awesome story."

He then proceeded to tell me in great detail about how he swiped that painting from the white house.

"I went with a tour group to the White House and since I thought I might run into someone important I put on my dad's nicest suit and went. Well I ditched the tour group because I realized they were unawesome and I wouldn't see anyone cool if I stayed with them. I walked in and out of random rooms when this lady comes to me with a head set and asked if I was with some official sounding group that was meeting there and I told her I was and then I said that it was urgent that we get a painting of Roosevelt."

"And?"

"She got it, gave it to me, and I walked out of there and drove home."

"… Like Boy With Apple?"

"Exactly like Boy With Apple."

**Yay! Lol updates. Boy With Apple is probably the dopest and most valuable painting I've ever come into contact with. I'm serious, after that any other piece of art is worthless junk. I feel better now that I wrote a little bit I guess. I like ghost stories and sci fi so if you guys could recommend some books for me that would be so dank.**


	19. White Teeth Teens

**I think this is the last part of the dinner with Gilbert lol. I have a really cute idea that will probably bring this fic to an end. Thanks for all of the support guys! After this it's probably one chapter to go and maybe an epilog!**

We sat at dinner, most of the conversation being filled by Felicia and Gilbert. I found that Ludwig was a calm person, no, more like so uptight he seems calm. He deduced that I was the quiet type, and moreover was incredibly nervous to be there. After that Gilbert decided he would drive me home… in other words give us some alone time to break the law! Yeah baby.

"So Gil, why did you become a teacher?"

He thought about it for a minute, "Well actually my whole life I wanted to build rockets because my brother liked stuff like that and I really wanted him to say 'hey! My big brother is a space man!' or something."

"So you didn't get into NASA? You're a failure not only to yourself but your brother too? That's rough-"

"WHAT THE HELL! NO! I was helping Ludwig with his math one day when I realized that maybe educating the youth was probably more important than dumping government grants into black holes. Besides, he said, 'Brother, you'd make a good teacher! You're way smarter and way more awesome than the ones we have in school now.'"

"He didn't say that."

"Well he said something like it!"

I sat back and laughed a little at his stupidity, even so he was a pretty decent teacher, I'll give him that. Maybe it's because he wants to be at school, "That's pretty cool I guess."

"Yeah but I still haven't taught anyone anything."

THAT'S NOT TRUE! YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LOVE! YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF! YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO HOLD HANDS AND LIVE ON THE EDGE! IT'S YOU WHO MADE INTO THIS CORNY CANADIAN MOTHER FUQQER!

But I wasn't going to say that. It sounds stupid enough in my head, besides I never once mentioned anything about calculus… I feel like I've let him down even though he has no idea what I'm thinking… I hope…

And then the time for school was upon me like the bad news I was hoping to avoid. As it turns out Mr. Bonnefoy and Alice were caught in public and immediately were separated as well as interrogated. I sighed to myself when I heard the news and I knew Gilbert was probably wondering what to do as well. I sat with Alice and Alfred at lunch, Kiku also joining us.

"But with him? The French teacher of all guys!? Why did you do this to me? You knew how I felt about you and you went for that guy!? What were you thinking!?"

"Alfred," she said very plainly, "I did it because this look of jealousy suits you."

Kiku and I knew what was going on here, we knew she was using that quotable line from Francis on Alfred who's heart stopped at the words. Kiku and I both put one hand up to our mouths and the other up in the air.

"OHHHHHHHHHH!"

Alfred got up and walked the hell out of there. Then we got sensitive.

"Alice, are you alright," I asked knowing what she was going through.

"Yes, it was doomed from the start still I figured it was worth a try."

Kiku just cried in a corner.

"And what will you do Matthew? Now that I've been caught it'll cause trouble for you and you know who as well."

"Well, I guess there's only one thing I can do at this point."

"Yeah?"

"I'll just have to stop seeing him…"

Kiku just screamed into his tissue as he cried.

And after school I went to study math with Gilbert. He was slightly more pale than usual, which was hard to imagine but he somehow managed.

"Hey Mr. Beilschmidt."

"Hey Birdie."

I cringed at the nickname, "You know what we'll have to do right?"

"… Run away?"

"Tempting, but for now we'll have to go our separate ways. You'll go back to just being a math teacher and I'll go back to being invisible."

"You don't have to disappear, you can just stop seeing me."

"But… if I don't go back to what I was then I'll probably just come back to you and make trouble."

He didn't say anything because he knew I wasn't going to listen. He didn't want me to go back into the background but it really was where I was meant to be. No one understands I was meant to be alone, no one understands I like life that way. I'll go back to the old Matthew, I did it for sixteen years I could do it again… right?

**UPDATE! Okay guys there you go! Next chapter will be the last and then you'll get an epilog. Thank you so much for the following and the reviews! I had a lot of fun writing this for you!**


	20. Fancy

**GUYS! IT'S FINALLY OVER! THIS IS THE FIRST FIC I AVTUALLY BOTHERED TO FINISH IN A LONG TIME! After this I'll do Hug Therapy primarily and then finish the rest… yeah. Maybe. Here's hoping.**

It's been a few months since then, now I'm in the spring of the second semester. In time I'll be moving on to my Junior year and I won't even get to watch him in class anymore. I've become invisible again and it makes me sad because I don't think Gilbert can see me like he used to, I feel like he might have forgotten me. It doesn't happen often but he bumps into me in the hall, like the first time we met but that's all. We've also stopped the math tutoring since then.

I was always like this. It wasn't hard before but now… now I feel like crying all the time. I thought I could go back to being invisible. I thought I could go back to when it was just me, Alfred, Alice, and Kiku. But the thing is, now that I know what's outside my walls it's become impossible for me to want to build them back up. I liked being out there, I liked being free, I liked Gilbert. But that time is over. That time will just be a dream I remember. I never want to forget it.

And then someone bumped into me. He was in a rush, on his way to the classroom. It was Gil- Mr. Beilschmidt. I sighed and expected him to run off like he usually did but this time he sighed too and stayed. It was quiet and then he said,

"Hey kid."

I stared at him for a minute but didn't say anything.

"I've been thinking… Matt, Matthew, Birdie," he threw that last one in to annoy me, but it didn't. It just brought me back to the dream.

"Matthew, I think it's time I gave up teaching math."

"What?"

"I've also quit smoking."

"So you're a quitter now? Moving to the beach so you can bum around?"

"Only if you'll come with me."

I stared at him and then kicked him in the shins, "Don't go saying shit like that after abandoning me for like three months!?"

"I didn't abandon you!"

"Yes you did! For a while there you couldn't even see me and was always knocking into me!"

"What!? I never stopped being able to see you!"

"Yes you did!"

"I knocked into you because I could see you! Jeez," he said the next part more quietly, "I thought it would be romantic. Like passing notes of something."

"Gilbert you're an idiot."

"Hmmm, that so?"

Then he dragged me back to his classroom where an equation was written on the board, shit am I gonna have to solve that? I glared at him only for him to wrap his arms around me and just sigh, "That's better."

"Gilbert? What are you doing?"

"You know what I'm doing, don't asks stupid questions."

I pulled my arms around him and hugged him too. I clung to him and tried not to cry, "You're a teacher… you're supposed to say there are no stupid questions."

I thought I could go back to being invisible but then you stopped being able to see me, but you never forgot me like I thought you did. There's nothing we can do about it, I'm just being a brat. But would it be okay for him to hold me like this a little while longer?

"Don't quit being a teacher Gilbert, that's just stupid."

"Hey, are you crying?"

"Ugh, I can't seem to stop…"

And then he pressed his lips to mine and it was dope. I mean, yeah. You know those fireworks I was talking about that never happened, I think they were waiting for this moment. Fuck yeah Disney channel!

"Have you stopped crying?" He asked with that signature smug smile.

"… not completely."

And then he kissed me again. After that our world revolved around exams and Gilbert and I were gonna try to do the after school tutoring until we found out I actually learned something and guess what, I got a full one hundred percent on the final! Fuck yeah! Pancakes all around!

Gilbert and I parted ways after that year; I moved onto eleventh grade and didn't take calculus, or any math courses. I decided to take a few online over the summer to fill my credits. I never wanted to have anyone else teach me math, that was a special right for the Gilbert I knew when I was sixteen. Now it seems I'll have to leave that behind… That is until I walked into my English Class.

"Hello students, my name is Mr. Beilschmidt. I was a calculus teacher last year but I'm obsessed with Shakespeare or whatever you're supposed to learn in this class so I'll be teaching English three and four from now on. How did I switch over? Well that's none of your business," he said winking at me, though it seemed to be at the general class. I knew it was for me, that's just how it is.

"_I think it's time I gave up teaching math," he said._

Screw him, he was planning this from the start. That whole heartfelt goodbye was all bullshit. Whatever, it's fine by me. Now was the time for me to finally venture outside of my walls and when I graduated the year after Gilbert and I went to see the world.

The End… Maybe.

**Alright guys! It's done! Yay! Look foreward to the epilog!**


	21. At Last

**Final bit guys! Thanks a lot for the support and whatever! XD**

Today was Thursday and Kiku and I were helping Gilbert grade papers, mainly because we have the best grades in the class and are a couple of nosey and judgmental little shits. That's only half the reason… sixty percent… seventy tops. The other reason was apparent to me when Kiku gave me the signal. He whistled "gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight." This was it, the moment of truth. Thanks for the moral support my Japanese Home Boy. He shot me a very Alfred-Like thumbs up. I was so nervous I was shaking as I stood up.

"G-Gil-"

"GILBERT!" Screamed a female voice breaking the door open.

"Felicia and Ludwig, what are you guys doing here," he asked.

"Felicia and I have the day off so we thought to come get you for din-"

He shut up and Felicia also went silent. I heard a set of strings playing and a chorus started to sing? Wait, what the hell is that? Is that a saxophone solo? I looked over to gilbert that wasn't frozen and was also looking for the strange "this is fate" kind of song playing in the background. Then we saw it. There was an ocean crashing behind them and a golden light of the sunset washing over Ludwig, Felicia, and Kiku. They all looked into each other's eyes, as if the missing part of them had been found at long last. Is this what they call… Kinship at first sight?

"Are we…" She started.

"MFEO," finished Kiku.

"I do think so," said Ludwig.

They took each other's hands as a violin started playing alone and they formed a super bond in an instant. What the hell? They were quiet for another second… and a second after that… until it became a minute. Then I remembered what I was supposed to say.

"LETS GO TO THE PARK!" I yelled out of nowhere.

"Why," asked Gilbert still staring at his brother acting so out of character.

"BECAUSE!" I yelled frantically.

Then Ludwig snapped out of it, "You two can't be seen together, you know that right?"

"I do, but trust me," I said looking at my feet trying to hide the red on my face.

"I don't know," said Gilbert.

I looked behind me at the Axis Crew, they literally are wearing T-Shirts that say Axis Crew where di they come from, and sighed. This was going to be my chance. I walked slowly over to Gilbert and leaned over his desk to face him, taking off my glasses

"You'll like it if we go," I said quietly.

"k-k- KESESESESESE! As long as you never try that again! KESESESESE! You're cute birdie, not sexy. Just stay the way you are and leave the rest to me."

Fuck you Gil. Just you wait, one of these days I'm gonna be so freaking hot all you'll want to do it hop on this sweet bod. Yeah, we skippin holdin hands mofo.

So yeah we went to the park. I was hoping for just Gilbert and I but with the Axis crew in their own little world I guess it's not so bad, actually it makes us less noticeable by any wondering familiars.

"Okay so you said you wanted to build rockets right? Well I know it's not as good as the real thing and I know it's kind of dumb but- but- here!"

I ran into a nearby bush where I hid the stuff. I pulled out one of those empty liter bottles of soda.

"I drank like six of these yesterday so we could launch them and stuff."

All he did was laugh.

"STOP LAUGHING! I ALREADY KNOW IT'S STUPID!"

He cut off my rant and scold by pulling me into his arms, "I love you kid."

… Did I hear that right? Did he just say he loves me? Did he just make a stalker out of me? Oh my god. He just said he loves me. Be cool Matt, be cool. Keep your heart at bay, shit it's wrapping in clover!? Shit! "At Last" is playing!? What do I do? Do I say I love you back? Oh my god, the power of bottle rockets. In my slurs of thoughts the only intelligent thing to come out of my mouth was:

"Really?"

"I gave up math for you."

"And smoking."

"I think loving you was a bad decision."

"No, no. I wouldn't say that."

"Well what would you say?"

"I guess it depends."

"Don't give me that. Isn't there _anything _you want to say to me? I… Love…"

"Pancakes," I responded like the dickish uke I am.

"You wound me birdie."

Fuck that nickname… or better yet fuck Gilbert, now that's an appealing thought, "Gilbert, I lo-"

Suddenly a rocket went flying into his crotch and he plummeted down to earth. FALLING FROM CLOUD NINE! I'M CRASHING FROM THE HIGH! Oh shit, wait! I need that thing functioning! I looked over to see Felicia laughing as hard as she could, almost overdoing it. I sighed and leant down to Gilbert.

"I'm sorry, I get clumsy when it comes to stuff like this… I just wanted to make you happy and see you smile and keep your attention and whatever else."

"W-whatever else?"

"Because… you know… I love you and stuff."

He pulled me down to lie beside him in a fault in our stars pose kind of way.

"Kid, you make me so happy I could die."

"What's with this kid business?"

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," I answered.

"You're still a kid… but if it makes you feel better you're way less of a brat."

"Just thank me for chugging all that soda…"

"Thank you Mattie."

"… and give me a kiss."

"You're so cute when you're demanding."

**Yay! It's finally over! I love everything! Thanks for everythings hommies! Peace out!**


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